Coping Emotionally with Relationship Breakdown
I'm worried about failing my children
I'm struggling but don't want to appear weak
When a relationship breaks down the feelings of grief can be similar to bereavement. The pressures of suddenly living alone, managing as a lone parent, financial worries and insecurity about the future are just some of the issues that can take a toll on our emotional health and wellbeing.
On top of the aforementioned concerns suddenly huge decisions need to be made. It can feel making it to the end of the day without falling to pieces takes every shred of energy.
Mediation, managed well can help you navigate through the practical steps as its a supportive process for both of you, however there is also your emotional health to take care of.
There is no shame in seeking some support through counselling or other means and at Green Light Mediation we felt it might help some clients to have a list of local services to contact for themselves or their children.
Where we have an indication of prices we have added that to assist our clients. Some may be able to offer Green Light Mediation clients a discount (please email us directly regarding that).
Local Services include:
The Therapy Place can offer support for children and adults.
Various counsellors at The Albany Centre
Neil Henry who works with adults and young people. A professional Integrative Psychotherapist with over 10 years professional experience and a member of both The National Counselling Society and the BACP. Being integrative he draws from many therapies to give my clients the best-bespoke therapy to help them overcome their struggles and start feeling better from the very first session. An expert in the treatment of anxiety disorders, mood management, low confidence, relationship issues, panic disorders, stress management and depression.
Kate Renner who is a BACP registered counsellor who works with adults from 18yrs on a long term or shorter-term basis. She integrates her training and experience of both Psychodynamic and Gestalt approaches to help clients raise their awareness of what is going on for them. Together with Kate, clients can identify their feelings, fears, beliefs, and motivations, some of which may be outside of their conscious awareness and may be linked to past experiences. Through investigating their feelings, clients are better able to identify their needs, enabling them to make decisions and to move forward with an increased sense of autonomy and self-compassion.
Deborah Edwards is an ACCPH registered life coach who supports women going through divorce and separation. Drawing on knowledge, experience and a variety of techniques together you work through this emotionally complex time, exploring your thoughts, feelings and wishes, ultimately leading to a focus on what you want the next phase of your life to look like. Deborah works in a holistic way, understanding that to look after our emotional health is also to look after our physical health. "The better we know ourselves, and the more confident we are in that knowledge, the happier and healthier we will be."
Many loving parents are naturally concerned about the implication of family breakdown upon their children. Whilst the ideal for children is of course living happily with both of their parents in a calm and happy family. The reality is that many children will, however, for many different reasons experience family breakdown. The good news is that divorce or separation, according to the research is not what damages children, it is conflict. Therefore if you can co-operatively co-parent your children have a good chance of being absolutely fine long term. Equally, children can thrive with one loving, consistent child-centred parent.
Parenting apart successfully is a challenge and in some situations it may not be possible for both parents to safely be in touch with each other. However, mediation can help parents to work together to agree contact and also the bigger picture decisions affecting their children.
Parents have asked for recommendations for courses relating to parenting skills and also parenting apart in addition to one to one coaching.
We recommend Sharon Lawton at Natural Flair and also hope to be running a first joint course in the autumn about parenting matters specifically in relation to family breakdown. Please contact us for more information via email: firstname.lastname@example.org
There are a miriad of situations and needs and other sources of help that have supported our clients include:
The Watford Womens Centre
Gingerbread (single parent support)
Citizens Advice (some are able to refer for a free session with a family solicitor), benefits advice, support with debt
Families Need Fathers
Sunflower Project - support for victims of abuse
For those experiencing domestic Violence:
National Domestic Violence Helpline (for Women) 0808 2000 247 (this is a free-phone number)
Men's Advice Line (for men) 0808 801 0327
Broken Rainbow (for LGBT) 0300 999 5428